Saturday, December 27, 2008

Belated Christmas Gifts

Today went pretty well.
Counting my blessings, I got a phone call for a job interview in the morning. Even if it was from a company that has some shady online reviews and I haven't received my confirmation email yet, it still gives me something to look forward to. Somebody is paying attention to my resumé.
The best part of my day was that i got to see Keri and Matthew today. OF course, I got there late, should have called her to let her know I was going to be late and when I got there, the big bag that was holding all of Matt's Birthday and Christmas presents broke open and they fell in a little bit of a puddle.
Still, all in all, I had a great day.
He pulled my hair hard, I got to hug him and he held his arms up to me to be picked up, I got kiss him and smell him, to watch him open his presents and to be his father for a few hours. I apologized to Keri in her kitchen and gave her a hug, only to feel a half hearted return. I miss the days of her whole heart in her hugs. Her hair smelled wonderful, like it always did. I wanted to kiss her, but I just can't risk that sort of thing until I can be sure of it.
To top it off, I got the best Christmas present ever.
I've whined about how I've missed a whole slew of my son's firsts. His first steps, his first words, his first swim, plane ride, a whole bunch of stuff that I was just too much of a jackass to open my fucking eyes and be less interested in myself about to experience.
Keri gave me Matt's first crayon drawing.
I can make it all better, I can have my family back with a lot of hard work, if she can give me something like that which means so very much to me.

I'm glad he's my son and she's his mother. I love them both.

I got lost on the way home. I'm not sure if I couldn't find the highway, or if I was grinning too much.

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