Well, a New Year brings about new opportunities and frankly, a new outlook on the future. As far as the job searching goes, its coming down to the wire. Seriously.
I've applied for all manner of social programs and am waiting to hear back on food stamps, health care and fuel assistance.
I'm having to restrain myself when I'd like to snack on whatever I have in the house, because I'm really not sure when I'll be able to go grocery shopping again. That in mind, I have to feed my daughter when she comes each weekend, so she's a bit more important than me when she gets here. I'm trying to be stronger as this new year starts up and its rough. I'd like to ask everyone for help and see who helps, but I just can;t bring myself to do it. I talked with Keri a while back and she had asked if I had food.
I was happy that she voiced her concern, it showed me that she cared about me on some level, but I just wasn't really too comfortable with trying to prove to her that I could take care of myself and all it took was her help. Plus, I had enough food and was planning steadily and rationing it all.
A few weeks later, even though I can't foresee making it through more than three days with the amount of food that I have in the house, I still wouldn't tell her that I'm down on my luck. It's not that I want to mislead her, or that I want her pity. I love her, I just can't see taking her help when I'm sure that she's facing hard times as well.
The job situation is looking promising and going slow as it does. I've interviewed with two potential places and was offered a second interview with one of them. The first is a security firm that was interesting and I loved it. I would like to work for them, i just have to follow up once a week and let them know that I'm still interested in the position, then maybe I might get a job with them.
The second job was at a residential treatment facility for teens. Sounds great for my pocket and great for my soul too. I have a second interview and am pretty excited about it and its near the house too, which makes it a lot more exciting.
Of course, having only a few bucks in my bank account and rent, utilities and cable due dull that excitement just a bit.
and I still can't figure Keri out. One minute she's interested in me and wants to pay attention, the next she's blowing off my phone calls to Matt and acting angry at me. I'm sick, literally. I have some sort of virus and it sucks. There's only so much that one person can deal with before they just want to chuck it all and stop fighting. I can only regret so much and say that I'm sorry and that I love her so many times. Tell her that I was wrong and how much I appreciate her.