Dear Job Search Sites,

When I signed up for your services, I was under the impression that you would not only find me some sweet jobs in my field, but that you might also offer me some related jobs and hopefully land me one in the same.
Had I known that I would be receiving all sorts of emails every day, offering me jobs in India and fraudulent 'work from home' opportunities, I really wouldn't have wasted my time.
In short, I and many others out there in unemployment land are qualified, ready, willing and able to jump behind the plow and earn for companies and employers that are searching for us and sort consider it an insult that you're not doing your job as it was intended.
It's like a matchmaker who is supposed to find me the ideal woman and in turn only gives me the best salsa recipe I've ever had.
I'm disappointed in all of you and you should all hang your heads in shame. I see the same jobs stay on your sites after they've been filled, I see the same jobs between all of you that all won't respond when I've applied to them.
I know that I'm good enough for them, I'd just like to read that the position is filled, or that someone fresh out of college will work for less. At least then, I would have a bit more faith in all of you.
To that end, I pose a suggestion to all of you.
IF you were to liberally coat one of your hands with Vaseline and with your free hand direct your outtie organs from your waist to the opening at just about the same height in the back, after you've greased it up with said Vaseline, I would greatly appreciate it.
I've been working the system long enough and HATE that I have to rely on Social programs to live. I consider it a smack in the face that your companies receive money for the ads along the borders of the pages that I click through and literally pray that I'll apply to something that will grant me enough money to pay for this month's rent and hopefully a little something to distract my children from the fact that as qualified as I am, I can't seem to get employed. No matter the number of applications and follow ups that I do.
I may have to become a soldier again and give up my pen and it breaks my heart. I have more to offer my children and the world than a ready rifle in a weaver stance and a body to throw on the pile fighting a war based on misguided principles, shoddy intelligence and political gains.